Which Indian Baby Traditions Are Safe — and Which to Skip?

Every Indian newborn arrives into a warm swirl of advice from grandmothers, aunts, and neighbours. Most of it comes from deep love and generations of experience. Some of it is genuinely wise. A few customs, though, are worth gently retiring — not because tradition is wrong, but because we simply know more now. Here's an honest sorting.

Best skipped

Kajal in the eyes. This is the big one. Traditional kajal — especially homemade — can contain lead, which is absorbed through a baby's delicate skin and eyes and can affect brain development. There is no health benefit; the "keeps away the evil eye / cools the eyes" belief doesn't hold up. If it's about warding off nazar, a kajal dot behind the ear or on the foot avoids the eye entirely.

Ghutti / gripe water for every cry. Many ghuttis are unregulated mixes, and some contain alcohol or unknown herbs. A newborn's liver can't handle them, and most crying is normal, not "gas that needs treating." For genuine colic, talk to your pediatrician rather than reaching for a bottle from the shop.

Mustard-seed (rai) pillows to "shape" the head. A baby's head shape evens out on its own in the first year. Firm shaping pillows are a suffocation and flat-head risk, not a fix. Flat, bare, and firm is the safe sleep surface.

Massaging with force or "cracking" joints. Gentle oil massage is lovely (see below) — but the vigorous joint-pulling some maalishwalis do can harm a newborn's soft joints.

Genuinely good — keep these

Oil massage (maalish). Done gently, warm-handed, and calmly, baby massage is wonderful. It aids bonding, may help sleep, and is one of the nicest parts of the day. Use a clean, baby-safe oil, avoid the eyes and cord stump, and stop if your baby dislikes it.

Skin-to-skin and being held. The Indian joint-family instinct to always hold the baby is, it turns out, exactly right. You cannot "spoil" a newborn with too much holding.

Breastfeeding on demand and colostrum. The tradition of feeding the first thick yellow milk (colostrum) — once discouraged in some places — is now strongly encouraged. It's the baby's first vaccine.

Harmless — do it if it brings comfort

Black thread (kala dhaga), nazar rituals, first-haircut (mundan) customs, jatakarma ceremonies — these carry cultural and emotional meaning and pose no medical risk (just make sure threads aren't tight enough to catch a finger or toe). If they bring your family joy and connection, keep them.

How to handle the advice-givers

You'll get contradictory advice from people who love your baby. You don't have to win every debate. "The doctor asked us to skip that one" is a complete, respectful sentence — and it lets the pediatrician be the "bad guy" so you don't have to argue with your mother-in-law.

When a custom involves anything a baby eats, drinks, or has applied to their skin or eyes, run it past your pediatrician first — that's the simplest safety filter.